An old Chinese saying goes like this: “You have been looking for your better half everywhere, she is just very near you in the light.” If you are hearing that for the first time, you might wonder what it is supposed to mean. I think it is speaking about true love. It means, if you want to find it, you need to look to the light-that is, to the light of the inner world-rather than to the physical world.
Many people don’t even believe true love is possible. They are only familiar with another kind of love. When they fall in love, it is because they have found someone who fills the needs of their ego. They feel empty and alone by themselves, so they expect this new person to guarantee their happiness. However, it doesn’t take long before the new partner displays needs of his or her own. Suddenly the needs of the two individuals are in conflict. Before they know what hit them, the honeymoon is over. In its place is pain and emptiness, often more than they felt before the relationship began. It is false because it doesn’t involve a deep and true connection.
True love is the opposite. It is a connection at the level of the heart and souls. Instead of expecting to get something from another person, you focus on what you can give to your partner. If you truly love someone, you don’t fear he or she will hurt you. You don’t define each other on the basis of ego. Rather, you accept one another unconditionally. If any conflicts do arise, you can overcome them because at the level of the heart you recognize your oneness.
How do you find true love? Paradoxically, it can’t be found. That is because it already exists within you at the core of your inner world. It may surprise you to hear that it is not a feeling or emotion. It is not an action that you do. Whether you recognize it or not, it is the very nature of your heart. It is the essence of your inner world.
Some people discover it within themselves when they meet a partner, and get married. Others experience it emanating from their heart, even if they don’t find a partner to share it. However, I think most people long to find true love in the form of a relationship.
If this is the case for you, I suggest you learn to let your heart and intuition guide you in life in general. As the Chinese saying says, look to the light of your inner world. Trust that light will lead you to your partner because that light is not different from him or her. Know that once you are heading in the right direction, whatever you need will be come to you at the right time, including true love.
